I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize