you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
