i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
