3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
