dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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