That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
