i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
