I am puke
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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