i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
