this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
