Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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