I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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