Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize