everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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