In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
a search helicopter?!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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