Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
