Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
