I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize