dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
