if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We talked him into tasing himself.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
