Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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