At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
