dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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