i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
