I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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