She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
