in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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