so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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