i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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