I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
