i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
