either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
