i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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