my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
