So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
