Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ugly people sure do ruin things
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
