If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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