I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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