Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize