Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
