I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
