we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
