your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
