first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize