that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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