i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
