Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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