a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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