I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize