Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
