I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
