Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
