my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Randomize
