You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
