did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
