so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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