You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
