Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
