yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
