He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
