she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
this hospital has no fireball
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize