why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
