Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize