Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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