Dual....:-)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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